I Love

I Love!

I Love that it's Sunday and there's a slight breeze outside
I Love my Mother
I Love my Husband
I Love my Stepchildren
I Love my Grandchildren
I Love my Brother
I Love my nephew
I Love all my family and friends
I Love being able to fit inside Hubby's shorts
I Love the color of my eyes
I Love that I look like my mother
I Love my real name which is Robyn
I Love my puppy
I Love my 2 cats
I Love my 2 horses
I Love that my puppy thinks Hubby and I are the best thing in the world next to a fresh bone
I Love that my kitties think I rock especially when I feed them some wet food
I Love Alcoholics Anonymous
I Love my sponsor and all she has taught me
I Love that I have a blog where I can share my thoughts and feelings
I Love the colors of the sky here in Wisconsin
I Love that Hubby & I are house hunting
I Love that I am a capable independent woman
I Love that I'm growing as a human being
I Love my son-in-law
I Love our soldiers who are fighting to keep us safe
I Love all of God's creatures
I Love that I'm shrinking size wise
I Love my body and all it can do
I Love manicures and pedicures
I Love the sound of a child's laughter
I Love that I have followers to my blog
I Love getting my bi-weekly paycheque
I Love the faith I have in myself
I Love God
I Love Faith in God
I Love the sound my little kitten makes when she's looking for me
I Love the fact that my eldest cat is a demanding kitty and feels he deserves respect
I Love that my puppy is a true farm dog who will hunt anything and everything in her path
I Love the sound of a stream
I Love the idea of fishing
I Love the South Beach Diet
I Love a cold bottle of water
I Love a cold bottle of diet cola
I Love Leslie Sansone and her walk program
I Love knowing how to feel better and better
I Love how easy it is to love when I choose to focus there on purpose
I Love feeling good about myself
I Love feeling eager for this day
I Love feeling eager
I Love laughing and having fun
I Love playing
I Love feeling childlike and anticipating good
I Love feeling joyful
I Love being touched to the heart
I Love feeling good because I choose to focus on what feels good
I Love feeling empowered by my decision to focus
I Love walks with my MP3 player
I Love choosing time for myself to read and relax
I Love my home
I Love the sound of the trees with the breezy wind blowing through them
I Love meeting like-minded people
I Love getting puppy kisses
I Love seeing my kitties play
I Love feeling ALIVE!
I Love being ALIVE!
I Love having the best tool for the job
I Love being on top of my game
I Love the way our pets Love my husband
I Love the way my husband treats our pets
I Love feeling like a million bucks
I Love feeling rich and filled with well being
I Love knowing the resources of this beautiful Universe are here for me to enjoy
I Love amplifying beauty
I Love amplifying wisdom and joy
I Love grapes
I Love strawberries
I Love bananas
I Love garlic
I Love onions
I Love the relationship I have with my stepchildren
I Love Life
I Love showing my grandchildren something for the first time
I Love treating others with extraordinary respect and unconditional love
I Love being treated with extraordinary respect and unconditional love
I Love getting a great return on my investments
I Love my grandson's laughter
I Love my granddaughter's beauty and determination
I Love that both grandchildren have huge hearts filled with love
I Love that my stepdaughter teaches her children about love and respect
I Love my stepson's sense of fun and adventure
I Love a warm, affectionate touch
I Love hugs
I Love great massages
I Love giving my husband massages
I Love swimming in the pool
I Love reading a good book on our reading couch with no interruptions
I Love talking with my friends
I Love living a free life
I Love watching my horses play
I Love watching my pony try to get his groove on with the Quarter horse mare
I Love being spontaneous
I Love paying more attention to how I feel than what other people want from me
I Love focusing on my joy
I Love finding something to appreciate in this now moment
I Love seeing just how much there is to appreciate
I Love finding old friends on Facebook
I Love knowing I'm stronger then I have ever been
I Love focusing on what is already working in my life
I Love the saying Live and Let Live
I Love the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
I Love how long this list is
I Love smiling
I Love that my husband thinks I'm wonderful
I Love pretty things
I Love pink
I Love green
I Love feeling relaxed and trusting
I Love lasagna
I Love cooking food on the grill
I Love corn on the cob
I Love cheeseburgers
I Love hotdogs
I Love eating healthy
I Love that I don't expect anyone to read this whole list
I Love knowing I was born to be free
I Love knowing that I am light and light I shall remain
I Love appreciating my body
I Love my Husband's laughter
I Love the way my husband invents words
I Love the way my husband touches me
I Love listening to music that opens my heart
I Love finding new music that celebrates life and how I feel
I Love being in love with my husband
I Love living in love
I Love laughing so hard no sound comes out
I Love laughing at myself for taking life so very seriously sometimes
I Love seeing that I am really quite beautiful
I Love the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
I Love feeling my body relax
I Love feeling my core muscles get stronger and stronger
I Love feeling strong and fit and flexible
I Love feeling my imagination blossoming
I Love having inspired thoughts
I Love feeling my heart sing
I Love recognizing that this could go on forever
I Love recognizing that love continues to expand
I Love knowing that what I focus on expands
I Love being open to more love
I Love being more loving
I Love remembering that my Inner Being is always guiding me
I Love following that guidance
I Love remembering that I just have to choose to focus
I Love loving to focus on joy, freedom, prosperity, peace, wonder
I Love being happy
I Love celebrating my freedom
I Love that joy is contagious
I Love hearing a positive, uplifting story
I Love all types of success stories
I Love losing over 50 pounds
I Love feeling more attractive then I ever have
I Love celebrating just how good life can be
I Love making peace with anything that bothers me
I Love knowing that the prime of my life is always NOW!
I Love that this is to be continued...

Calling in on some NSV's

Still on plan, I feel good all around, my house is a mess, I'm a bit behind on one of my jobs but aside from that I feel a slight burden lifted and I feel good about myself.

Here are some NSV's

I was told my face is really losing weight LOL I'll take it thank you very much
I've followed the plan since Monday without messing up.
I now fit in hubby's shorts. They are a men's 42, hey I'll take it, I couldn't fit in them before.
I can now comfortably buy a size 20 and know they will fit, hey I'll take it LOL.
I feel pretty these days which is shocking for me since I am my number one worse enemy, I'm always doubting my looks.
I got into my size 18 jeans that I bought a month or so ago, I can put them on, zip and button them too.

That's it for today!

Thanks

Sassle :)

It's an oral fixation type of thing

She had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

Sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes.

~ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll Chapter I

*******************

I'm back, I've been away sort of but not necessarily with my head hung low. You see I had a relapse, not an alcohol one but a food one. I did not eat sugar unless you count the day I had sugar free chocolate pudding (4 portions). I've been eating off program for a week now and I've put on 4 pounds as a result of it. It's not good but believe me when I binge I can put on 20 pounds in a weekend so I will take the 4lbs and smile.

I'm back to the plan as of today. What have I been binging on? peanut butter sandwiches, it's so weird how they would literally call me to eat them. Oh and chili. I think because I ate the peanut butter on healthy whole wheat high fiber bread I didn't do too much damage since it filled me up. Though eating 4 to 6 slices of bread is definitely considered a binge, for me it's still progress. The fact that I would not under any circumstances eat anything sweet is a miracle in itself. I would eat to be full and never enjoyed the feeling. I was missing something orally, I don't smoke and nothing seemed to satisfy me so I had an oral fixation and food seemed the answer. You know what's weird, it never seemed to satisfy me so I know its an emotional thing. Anything bothering me lately? Nothing important other then hubby and I want to move, our rent on the farm just went up $200/month and he's working longer hours and I feel a bit overwhelmed but nothing more then that. It's true, I don't think I'm too worried or more worried about stuff then before. Who knows, what's important is that I deal with it and get back on plan now, not tomorrow, not Monday but now.

While all this was going on I had so much to write to you, I wish I had because a lot of it escapes me right now. I wish I would write when the feeling hits me but its usually at a time when I'm not at my desk or when I'm working.

That is it for now, I will be back, I just wanted to let you know where I've been and what I've been doing.

Sassle

Monday Weigh-In (Official) and Random Thoughts and Feelings

WEIGH IN...

Ok so I'm weighing in for the 2 challenges I belong to, once is Fabulous N Fit By Fall and the other is Get Fit AFTER 40. I am pleased with my results today I had hit 241 pounds on Saturday, I was surprised because I feared I would be stuck at 244 but once I started eating more I started to lose weight. I'm shocked and the logic behind it so escapes me to some degree that I even tell myself, now imagine if I ate less I'd have lost more weight.

Now, this is something that has been bothering me for a bit...

Two or so weeks ago I was eating under 1200 calories a day and working out and I was on a plateau. I have decided that losing 2 lbs a week is a good and fair amount and kind to my body, so I decided that I really wanted to know how much I should eat in order to obtain that goal. The website where I log in my food for the day is MyFitnessPal and they recommend I eat 1200 calories a day to lose 2 lbs a week. I did that and it didn't work. I then went to SparkPeople (I know I'm repeating myself here) and they recommended eating between 1200 to 1500 (sounds more logical) and then I went to the The Daily Plate who recommends 1709 calories a day. I also asked The Daily Plate how many calories should I eat to lose 2.5 pounds per week and that recommendation was 1459 calories.

This is all confusing to me. Now to make matters worse I looked up my BMR (which I have no idea how BMR works) it varies depending on the site from 1802.05 to 2227 now the whole BMR and calories to lose weight connection escapes me, I need it explained to me in laymen turns real slow please.

Now if I go by my own logic (uh oh) I've been eating between 1200 and 1600 calories a day and I'm losing weight so if it ain't broke don't fix it. Why is there too much information on this. Oh because it's the Internet right?

I think I'm so obsessed about counting the right amount of calories that I'm forgetting that whatever it is that I'm doing is working.

I finally bought myself a real tape measure and I have to say the amounts I originally took were just not accurate enough. I used hubby's work tape measure, you know the stiff ones and I see the difference now that I have a real one. Plus I don't hold in my gut when I measure (I think I used to instinctively) so the numbers are quite shocking.

FEELINGS AND SUCH...

Hubby says I'm my own worse enemy, he says I must suffer emotionally a lot because of that inner voice inside me (the ego) that puts me down, i.e. I don't like my teeth, I have dark circles under my eyes, my pores are huge, bad hair day, I'm fat, I have a double chin, I'm this and I'm that. He says to stop it, he won't allow me to put down his wife in front of him anymore.

You know what it is? I think my faults are soooo obvious that if I mention them first nobody else can call me on it. Nobody else can dare tell me how ugly my teeth are or why do I look so darn tired. I've beat them to the punch.

I think in my defense I haven't been taking my PMS vitamins which always help, I hate pills so I stopped taking them (bad Sassle) and I'm reaping the rewards (there I just took them). Yuk!

This is still no excuse to be so hard on myself, I must remember, God does not make junk. I am beautiful, smart, creative and I've lost 58 pounds for Pete's sake!!

THIS WEEKS GOALS...

To exercise at least 4 times this week in the form of cardio
To do strength training at least 3 times this week
To be kind, loving and gentle with myself
To take my PMS vitamins
To eat between 1200 and 1600 calories a day (or until someone tells me the right amount)
To spend more loving time with my hubby
To have a clean home
To be up to date in my work
To spend more quality time with puppy girl
To spend more quality time with kitty cats
To pray and meditate daily
To LET GO AND LET GOD

Thanks for stopping by!

Sassle

Well when you put it that way!

So I've been visiting some blogs and I run across Scale Junkie's post about pounds loss about how much weight we've lost since when; our biggest weight, our weight on diet day 1, year 2008 or whichever day you choose. My response was I consider the day of this diet/eating plan day one and I took the weight from that date and that's my starting date yada yada (got that from reading Hanlie's post.) But then I started to think... (uh oh) what weight was I at when I started gaining weight and that magic number was 128 pounds. So that means I gained 171 pounds over 3 years, goodness who does that?! This photo is of me when I weighed 165 and I thought I was fat in October 2005 (I was shallow and insecure what can I say), this is what I want to weigh again, this is what I want to look like again. It's just that it caught me off guard that I gained 171 pounds in 3.5 years, heck if I gained that weight in 5 years it would still be too much. I never put it into perspective that I was killing myself that way, that's alot of weight and I realized I ate those three years like I drank alcohol for 21 years before I got sober. Now if I look at it this way, 56 pounds lost so far (Yay!), my next goal is to lose 44 pounds and from there I'll only have 34 pounds left to lose. Should I choose to look at it as I have to lose 171 pounds I'd run away and probably give up for life. I find setting these small challenges is what's keeping me on this way of eating (what do I call it, a diet, lifestyle, eating plan) and I'm proud of the accomplishments I've had so far but I have to say that number just floored me. It's all good now, I'm over it because of my little goals set. This is the closest I've weighed to 200 in 3.5 years so that means I'm doing well. All's good, phew!

Thanks for coming by!

Sassle